I was four and a half years old, and some boys told me that if I got up in the freezer in the garage that they would let me play with them. I did. I thought there would be Popsicles inside. They closed the freezer door, and they closed the garage door, and they ran home. My mother said it was well over two hours I was missing. She kept hearing, “Your baby’s in the freezer. Your baby’s in the freezer,” but she didn’t believe it, so she didn’t look.
In the freezer, I remember an angelic presence—actually three, but one in particular was very strong. I remember crossing over; it was very peaceful. I didn’t see a bright white light or get sucked into a tunnel. I felt very knowing. I don’t know how else to put it. And then I popped into this room.
It was a Greco-Roman room, and it had beautiful colors. Inside this room was a round, giant circle, and I looked down into the circle and saw movement. There were words and sentences intermingling like strands of DNA. I said, “Where am I?” And they said, “You’re in the room of hearts’ desires.” The prayers of every living soul. I said, “Do you answer all those?” And they said, “Oh, Susy, sometimes what people desire the most isn’t good for them.”
I looked forward, and I saw this beautiful yellow brick road. At the beginning of the road, there were bricks that went up into a pyramid. And I was watching humans pulling these beautiful golden bricks from the bottom of the pyramid, one by one, and trying to pave their paths forward. “What’s going on?” I asked. And the angels said, “Well, they’re acting through their free will. In free will, we can’t disturb them. They’re trying to pave their path.”
I saw people begging. They were saying, “Please help me.” Their paths were crooked and bumpy and broken. I saw the angels swoop in and put the pavers back where they belonged. Those people’s free will was removed.
The second thing I understood is that when you pull from the bottom of the pyramid, it becomes unbalanced. The angels explained to me, “We are the pavers; you are not. All you have to do is walk it.” I asked, “Well, how do you know if you’re walking it right?” Because I was four and a half and a little precocious.
And they said, “Because we’re always blessing and blocking your path. When we block it, make no mistake, you can get through the block battered and bruised at best, or you can shift. And if there’s still a block, you shift again, Susy. And if there’s still a block, you shift again. Until you see us on a path paving for you. And all you have to do is walk it.”
Then I went into another room. This beautiful room had stacks and stacks of books, but they weren’t really books. It’s hard to explain it; as young as I was, and this didn’t really exist then, they resembled modern-day e-readers. They were everywhere. And I said, “Where am I now?” And the angels said, “You’re in the room of knowledge.” People today call that the Akashic Records. They told me that everyone has a purpose and there are contracts within that journey. So you can be contracted to be married, but whom you marry, how long you’re married, what marriage feels like to you, how you treat the marriage, and what age you are when you get married are all in your free will.
Then I popped into a room where I saw angels. When they opened their mouths, the words and the music came out at the same time. I was watching human spirits lifting up higher than me, and the angels were saying to them, “Good job, you were so brave. Good job.” It didn’t matter how they died; it didn’t matter what they had done on this planet. These were the good souls, and the angels were praising them for having had the courage to come here.
I asked the angels, “What happens to bad people?” Because I’d had bad experiences even though I was young. And they said, “There are no bad souls, but what we do is we take souls that have struggled to something like what humans call a hospital, Susan, and we heal them. Then we let them back out to be where they want to be.”
By now, my mom had finally listened to the message “Your baby is in the freezer,” and she went running out to the freezer door. When she found me, I looked like clay. She started screaming. I fell out. I split my chin open—I have a scar to remind me—and I took a breath. My mother was afraid to take me to the hospital because the freezer should have been bolted and turned toward the wall, so she sent me to bed.
I went to sleep, and when I woke up, I could see people. They just could talk to me. I didn’t know if they were dead or alive. I didn’t know the difference. I was too young to know. And they were looking in my windows, at the corner of my bed, down the hallway. During the day, I would play with them, until I realized I was playing with people who weren’t really there. I didn’t know it was different. It was my normal. Kind of like the boogeyman—everyone has one and no one talks about it. I thought everybody saw what I saw but nobody was talking.